Sick & Tired

UGH! Thomas is still sick. He was puking all afternoon after school on Wednesday. Thursday he was listless and laid around most of the day, not eating but drinking some. Friday he was back to his old self, or so it seemed until he started puking again. Saturday was another no-puke day. We went outside to enjoy the (finally)nice weather and he had fun riding the four-wheeler with mom. When we came inside he laid on the couch and began throwing up again. Sunday was another great day. We went outside and he rode in his power wheel and sat on the swing for most of the day. We came in and he ate real well, played for a bit then fell asleep at 5:30 (YUCK!). Around 12:45 he woke up and needed to vomit but managed to keep it in. I came to the computer to shut it down and he laid on his back on the floor. Next thing I know, puke city all over again. In his nose, ears, hair, all over. So at 1 o'clock in the morning I was up giving him a bath. After the bath he was fine again, happy and laughing, playing and reading his books. So far today he is acting fine again.

I placed a call in to his pediatricians office and am waiting on a call back. I hope this is just a bug going around. I don't want him to have to go through any testing of any sort. I want him to be well. It is his spring break and it's not fair to him to have to spend it being sick!

*sigh*

You know those commercials for the office supplies where they have their "Easy Button"? Well, I want an easy button. I'd press it right now and Thomas would be well, my house would be clean, my laundry would be caught up and dinner would be cooked.

When did it get so hard? It seems I am forever standing atop a mountain of laundry (especially with the half dozen loads of pukey clothes and towels from the past five days). My house is overtaken by dust and dog hair. My kitchen table is the catch-all for everything - mail, books, food packages, telephone, camera, and crumbs from Thomas' breakfast.

I know, I know, get my butt off the computer and get to cleaning, maybe that would help. But it doesn't. I NEED the computer. I NEED the Internet. I NEED my friends who help talk me down when I'm freaking out. I NEED my blog to get my thoughts out of my head to make room for other things in there. I NEED the Internet to look up signs and symptoms, for freebies, for the best deals, for anything to take my mind off the zillion things I should be doing but will never find the time to do in a single day. The computer and the Internet are my link to sanity. Without them I would be sitting here pulling my hair out making strange noises as I rocked back and forth hugging myself.

Okay, maybe it wouldn't be that bad, but it would be bad.

I guess right now what I really need is to get off my butt and get to the housework. And now that I've unloaded my frustrations and anxieties I think I can do that.

Sick

Being that I am a first time mom, and the mom of a special needs kid, I have no experience with having a "normal" child getting sick. I wonder if regular moms worry and freak out as much as us special needs moms. Every time Thomas gets sick I wonder if there is more at play than just a virus or a bug. Is it something deeper and more sinister? Is that cough and fever just a precursor to something scarier?

I am always worried that some day he will eventually end up having seizures. Many CP kids end up having seizures but we have been lucky with that so far. But the thought is always there, in the back of my mind, lurking in the darkness with all those other scary thoughts that come with being the mom of a special needs child.

Tonight Thomas is sick. He has been vomiting throughout the day since coming home from school. He hasn't eaten anything but has drank two cups of juice. He fell asleep around 5 only to wake up three times to vomit. He is miserable. He looks so sad, pale, and small. I don't like it. It scares me. He had this same thing happen a few weekends ago, it lasted for just two evenings (he was fine during the day) and then went away. I'm hoping that is the case this time. But now I wonder what is behind this? Why is he throwing up? He has a low-grade fever, nothing serious. No coughing, no runny nose, no other symptoms.

So why am I so worried? Why does this little nugget of fear embed itself in my brain? Do regular moms go through this? Or for them is a cold just a cold, throwing up just a stomach bug, a fever just a fever?

The Easter Thing...

Easter is coming, and I must say it is turning out to be my favorite holiday. This is the one holiday that has a tradition Thomas really enjoys participating in. Of course he likes the present aspect of Christmas, but he won't help decorate the tree or bake cookies. Halloween I can put him in a costume and roll him around town, but he doesn't really care for the candy that much and doesn't understand what is going on. With Easter I have discovered for the second year in a row that Thomas loves to color eggs. Finally a traditional holiday activity that he actively participates in and thoroughly enjoys!

Last Easter I vividly remember Thomas putting the eggs into the coloring cups, using his hands to add them to the cups and take them out. I remember the single egg, left uncolored, because Thomas wouldn't let anyone dip it into the coloring. I remember the green hands that lasted for days and days. But mostly I remember the giggles, the laughter, the look of pure joy on his face as he dropped those eggs into the cups and gleefully pulled them back out.

This year I anticipated major disapointment on my part. Dare I hope that Thomas would want to participate in the egg coloring two years in a row? It was a slow start. Thomas was unhappy that I cleared away his mealtime items, his sippy cup and books. He wasn't sure what to do with the newspaper I placed in front of him. When I placed an egg in his hand he tried to give it back. I began to feel that bitter edge of disapointment I had hoped wouldn't come. And then, suddenly he decided to participate. He stuck those little hands in the cups, placing one egg after another into the same cup, stacking them until he couldn't stack them any higher. It was so cute, and such a wonderful surprise!

Sometimes Thomas just seems to know when mommy needs a reminder of what a miracle he is. I admit I need a gentle nudge now and again to look at the bright side of life and stop feeling sorry for myself, and to think about what all this boy of mine CAN do, instead of feeling sad about what he can't.

I helped take down the cupboards...

With the return of our income taxes my hubby and I decided to replace our old worn down cabinets. We ordered them and ended up getting one back that was not quite right. We decided to get the project underway with the cabinets we did have.

I emptied the two cabinets we would need to take down. Hubby removed one cabinet and then went out to the garage to get a 2X4. While he was gone I thought "why don't I take down the other cabinet for him and it'll be a nice surprise?" So I get two screws out and then the head breaks off the third one. No problem, that happened to hubby too and he just yanked on it a bit to get it off.

I start to yank. The cupboard next to the one I was working on began moving too. As I continued, a little more cautiously, I decided to just wiggle it back and forth instead of yanking on it. Well, I forgot that two years ago when we were putting up a new ceiling hubby just tacked the cabinets up onto a single 2X4, because when he did that it was a "temporary-fix". So, unbeknownst to me, as I am jiggling and wiggling and pulling on this single cabinet, all the rest are getting it too.

Did I mention I hadn't cleared out the cabinets that were supposed to stay up?

Anyway, next thing I know ALL the cabinets are crashing down. I'm on a step stool trying to hold up the end I have been working on, the middle is caught on a little shelf on the wall, the others are just pouring out their contents. All I hear is shattering glass. Hubby is still out in the garage. So I stand there, because if I move the cabinets will definately fall completely down, and the door that is being held shut by my body will also lose it's contents. I stand there waiting for hubby to come back, and yet I'm hoping he never does. LOL

He comes back and I start yelling for him to come into the kitchen. tick tock tick tock tick tock... "Ummmm honey, could you hurry?"

"I am"

"Yeah, I need you to hurry a little faster!"

The look on his face when he walked into the kitchen was priceless. But to his credit he didn't yell or give me a hard time. I think he was in too much shock. He came over and helped me get the cabinets down (losing more glasses and other stuff in the process). Then he sat down and just stared at the floor. Meanwhile I am stuck on this stool in my stocking feet unable to move for the shards of shattered glass all around me. So after a gentle prompting, he got me some slippers. He even helped with clean up.

The floor, which was also replaced just over three years ago with a wood laminate, is scarred and gauged beyond repair. I'm thinking a nice area rug for the kitchen has now become a necessity.

So yeah, lesson learned here: ME + power tools + construction projects = DISASTER!

**note: Thomas was in his chair at the Kitchen table out of harms way when this happened!**

Amazing Thomas

I talked to Thomas' teacher today and she told me something that happened during his OT session this morning:

During OT (occupational therapy) his therapist had him in the swing. When it was time for him to stop swinging, she tried to take him off the swing. Well, he wasn't ready to get off the swing, and pushed her hands away and SAID "NO!"

Of course, he hasn't repeated it since then, and I'm sure he probably won't until he's good and ready, but WAHOO!!! Progress is Progress! So now his vocabulary (when he chooses to use it) consists of "Mama" & "No".

I have such an amazing little boy!

Happy Birthday to my Baby Boy!

Five years old. I can't believe it. It has been five years since I was blessed with my amazing and sweet little boy. He is not so little anymore, growing faster than I care to admit. This last year has been such a big year for him. He's come so far in social, physical, and even mental development.

Can this little boy, now five years old and becoming so independant, be the tiny baby who came rushing into this world 8 weeks too early? He was eager to come out and greet the world, and has been doing things at his own pace ever since. Some things take him longer, and some things seem to come much too fast.

Saturday we had a nice party with many of our friends and family helping to celebrate. He received so many nice gifts and still, two days later, has yet to explore them all. Last year he was still a bit anxious in a crowd and cried when we sang "happy birthday." This year he was a little social butterfly and was all smiles during the singing. He even ate some of his cake!

This has been one of the best years I have had the pleasure of sharing with Thomas. I can only hope the coming year has as many accomplishments and joys as the past one did.

Whoohooo! He did it again... ;o)

This morning Thomas woke up at the crazy hour of 2 a.m. Around 2:45 he wanted up at the table for some food, so I put him up in his chair and laid myself back down on the couch. A short while later he was whining to get down, so I asked "Thomas, do you want down?" And he reached over and pushed "yes" on his GoTalk. So I got up and let him down.

At around 4:15 he wanted back up at the table to eat breakfast. So I put him up and got him some more food, then I went and laid back down on the couch again. I snoozed, and a few minutes later woke to a lot of whining. So I asked "do you want to get down?" Nothing but more whining. So again I asked "Thomas, do you want to get down, press the button and tell me." So he looks at the GoTalk board, reaches over and presses "potty".

Okay, I was a little skeptical about this, but since he actually did check out the GoTalk board first and pushed that button after some deep thought, I got up and took him into the bathroom. I sat him on the potty, read his book a few times, and he actually went poop on the potty again!!

So it wasn't just a fluke!! How exciting is this? I envision no more poopy diapers, and after almost five years of them, that is a wonderful vision!!