I'm almost officially old. Today I turned 29. As I sat here reflecting on my life up to this point I realized that I am almost exactly where I always planned to be. All my life I wanted one thing, to be a stay at home mom. Well, there was that other thing about marrying a rich man, but we can't have it all now can we? And here I am, at 29, living my dream. Except nowhere in my dreams did I ever imagine how difficult it would be. I never entertained the notion that my child would be anything less than amazing. My child would be the next Einstein. He would be the first amongst his peers to roll, to crawl, to talk and to walk. He'd be famous by age two because he was so incredibly gifted the world would stand up and take notice.
However, in many ways my life as Thomas' mom has exceeded the dream. He is amazing. He is beautiful. He has the ability to touch the hearts of all those around him, and even those who only know him through my writing. He is more than any child I could have imagined having. Sure we have our troubles and there are things I wish with all my heart he could do, but I wouldn't trade him for anything or anyone. He is so much better than that dream child I had. That dream child was what I thought I wanted. Thomas is everything I know I NEED. Without him life was boring and predictable. With him I never know what to expect, good or bad, he keeps me on my toes. His laughter keeps me smiling, and his kisses fill my heart to bursting.
So today, on my birthday, even though he is not able to buy me a gift or wish me a happy birthday, he has given me the best gift of all. A gift that needs no ribbons, no pretty paper, and no card. The gift of being a mother, his mother.