I know, I know, I've already whined about how hard holidays are for us special needs moms. But it is that time of year when it all gets shoved in our faces and it's sink or swim for our emotional well being. Right now there are moms on my message boards wondering what supercool new toys to get their kiddos for Christmas. As I read these posts I get to see just what Thomas is missing out on because of that evil monster that is CP. The board I visit is for children born the same month and year that Thomas was due. The toys they discuss are all the fun ones I would LOVE to get for Thomas and have him actually care, to play with them the "right" way and enjoy them. But that's not going to happen. Not this year anyway.
And the commercials, oh those damn commercials. Moms playing board games with their tykes, Hi Ho Cherry-O and Candyland, among others. Last year I bought Thomas Memory. He loves it. He takes all the cards out, stacks them, scatters them around his room, and puts them back in the box (if I'm lucky). Not exactly what I had in mind. Is it ever really what I had in mind? Not usually.
So it is without fail that, at this time of year, I sit down and count my blessings. I try to list the million and one ways Thomas is so much more fun to be a mommy to than those other kids. Yeah, he has CP, and that majorly sucks, but it is what it is. Because of the CP I am more appreciative of all the little things that, to us, are not such little things. Right now I marvel at the look of pure joy on his face as he races his walker out of therapy and to the parking lot. The smiles in the pictures the school just sent home from the first few weeks there. The way he licks his fingers to turn pages in books and magazines. The joy he gets when we receive a new magazine in the mail. The way he is suddenly interacting with people, really looking at them and being social with them. How last night he flirted with a friend of mine and giggled at the silly faces she was making. And today when he lightly touched his hand to my belly and I pretended he had pushed me across the room. He giggled so hard and kept wanting to do it again and again, just like a "normal" kid.
So yes, I count my blessings and realize how good we have it. He is healthy, he is beautiful, and he is mine.
Besides, who wants to play Hi Ho Cherry-O anyway?
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It's Allison, Brigid's mom. I had to both laugh and shudder at your use of "it is what it is" - simply because that is the statement that gets me through my days. Nichole, we have far too much in common, and if you would be so kind as to download your brain into mine, I would be so grateful. Since we are 2 years behind you...I'd love to know what you have learned (not after the fact, when I figure things out). Hugs to you - you are the absolutely best mom TAG could ever want, and no one can be better than that.
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