Burn

The time had to eventually come when Thomas would get his first real big bad injury. Of course it also had to be a time when it was due to something as stupid as mom not putting shoes on him and dad letting him sit alone on the four-wheeler.

Usually when I take Thomas outside I don't bother with shoes. He can't walk so what's the point? We went outside and daddy decided to take Thomas around the yard a few times on the four-wheeler. As he always does, he tucked Thomas' feet under his (daddy's) legs so they wouldn't come close to the hot motor. They started their drive and did a lap or two before running out of gas. Daddy got off waiting for mom to make her way over and let Thomas stay sitting on the quad. Then I came and took Thomas while daddy pushed the quad back to the garage. Thomas and I played outside a bit longer, riding in the wagon and sitting on the lawn mower (even though it wasn't on Thomas thought he was so cool sitting on it playing with the steering wheel). After twenty minutes or so I brought him in for his bath and bedtime.

As I was undressing him I noticed he had something on his toe and reached down to yank it off. Before doing so I took a closer look and realized it was his skin! He had two medium sized burns on the top of his foot near his big toe. He hadn't cried out while on the four wheeler, nor acted in pain at any other time we were outside.

I ran a cool bath for him and put him in. I cleaned him up and allowed the burn to soak in the cool water. I got him out and put some aloe gel on the burn, lightly wrapped it in gauze, put a sock over it and he promptly fell asleep. Of course I debated whether I should take him to the ER or not, but since he acted like it didn't hurt and it looked bad but not horrible I decided to leave it be for the night.

The next morning I unwrapped the gauze and put more aloe and fresh gauze on the wound. We went on some errands and then came home. All the while he acted as though he hadn't a care in the world. When I removed the gauze that afternoon it stuck to the wound and I noticed some discoloration on the gauze. I decided to go to my "in-home medical professional" aka GOOGLE. When I read some of the results about burn care and burn severity I decided it would be best for Thomas to be seen by a doctor. I called his pediatricians office and was told to take him to the ER near them which included a burn unit.

We spent over four hours at the ER. Which is crazy since it was only serving children and it was busy but not crazy busy. By the end of the visit Thomas was diagnosed with a second degree burn but what they did and told me to do was the same as what I had been doing. They gave me a medicated ointment to use and sent us home with an appointment set up for the next day at the burn clinic. Of course I was given major guilt trips about Thomas being on the quad without shoes. It really didn't matter, I couldn't have possibly felt worse than I already did, regardless of what they had to say to me.

The next day we went to the burn clinic and again the doctor tried the guilt trip on me for no shoes/quad. Okay, I get it, world's worst mother here, I know. I felt like asking the doc if he had kids, and if so had they never in their lives suffered a preventable injury while under his supervision. But I bit my tongue.

The doc said that while the burn was bad, and would require five or six weeks to fully heal, that it was small enough not to require any type of graft or other major procedure. I was told to put the cream on it and change the bandages twice a day, put him in the tub as usual and wash the wound while trying to slough off the dead skin.

So, basically to do what I had been doing.

I beat myself up over not taking him in the same night it happened. I surrounded myself in guilt over not putting shoes on him, not reminding his dad to watch his feet on the four-wheeler, and for not noticing the burn right away. But I have decided to forgive myself, relieve myself of the guilt, and realize I am human and things like this will happen. I will never again allow him to ride the quad without shoes or jeans, but I won't stop him from riding. He's going to get hurt and I won't always be able to prevent it. Life happens and while I will be more careful, I will also be careful not to smother him so that he cannot explore and enjoy life and what it has to offer.

Sick & Tired

UGH! Thomas is still sick. He was puking all afternoon after school on Wednesday. Thursday he was listless and laid around most of the day, not eating but drinking some. Friday he was back to his old self, or so it seemed until he started puking again. Saturday was another no-puke day. We went outside to enjoy the (finally)nice weather and he had fun riding the four-wheeler with mom. When we came inside he laid on the couch and began throwing up again. Sunday was another great day. We went outside and he rode in his power wheel and sat on the swing for most of the day. We came in and he ate real well, played for a bit then fell asleep at 5:30 (YUCK!). Around 12:45 he woke up and needed to vomit but managed to keep it in. I came to the computer to shut it down and he laid on his back on the floor. Next thing I know, puke city all over again. In his nose, ears, hair, all over. So at 1 o'clock in the morning I was up giving him a bath. After the bath he was fine again, happy and laughing, playing and reading his books. So far today he is acting fine again.

I placed a call in to his pediatricians office and am waiting on a call back. I hope this is just a bug going around. I don't want him to have to go through any testing of any sort. I want him to be well. It is his spring break and it's not fair to him to have to spend it being sick!

*sigh*

You know those commercials for the office supplies where they have their "Easy Button"? Well, I want an easy button. I'd press it right now and Thomas would be well, my house would be clean, my laundry would be caught up and dinner would be cooked.

When did it get so hard? It seems I am forever standing atop a mountain of laundry (especially with the half dozen loads of pukey clothes and towels from the past five days). My house is overtaken by dust and dog hair. My kitchen table is the catch-all for everything - mail, books, food packages, telephone, camera, and crumbs from Thomas' breakfast.

I know, I know, get my butt off the computer and get to cleaning, maybe that would help. But it doesn't. I NEED the computer. I NEED the Internet. I NEED my friends who help talk me down when I'm freaking out. I NEED my blog to get my thoughts out of my head to make room for other things in there. I NEED the Internet to look up signs and symptoms, for freebies, for the best deals, for anything to take my mind off the zillion things I should be doing but will never find the time to do in a single day. The computer and the Internet are my link to sanity. Without them I would be sitting here pulling my hair out making strange noises as I rocked back and forth hugging myself.

Okay, maybe it wouldn't be that bad, but it would be bad.

I guess right now what I really need is to get off my butt and get to the housework. And now that I've unloaded my frustrations and anxieties I think I can do that.

Sick

Being that I am a first time mom, and the mom of a special needs kid, I have no experience with having a "normal" child getting sick. I wonder if regular moms worry and freak out as much as us special needs moms. Every time Thomas gets sick I wonder if there is more at play than just a virus or a bug. Is it something deeper and more sinister? Is that cough and fever just a precursor to something scarier?

I am always worried that some day he will eventually end up having seizures. Many CP kids end up having seizures but we have been lucky with that so far. But the thought is always there, in the back of my mind, lurking in the darkness with all those other scary thoughts that come with being the mom of a special needs child.

Tonight Thomas is sick. He has been vomiting throughout the day since coming home from school. He hasn't eaten anything but has drank two cups of juice. He fell asleep around 5 only to wake up three times to vomit. He is miserable. He looks so sad, pale, and small. I don't like it. It scares me. He had this same thing happen a few weekends ago, it lasted for just two evenings (he was fine during the day) and then went away. I'm hoping that is the case this time. But now I wonder what is behind this? Why is he throwing up? He has a low-grade fever, nothing serious. No coughing, no runny nose, no other symptoms.

So why am I so worried? Why does this little nugget of fear embed itself in my brain? Do regular moms go through this? Or for them is a cold just a cold, throwing up just a stomach bug, a fever just a fever?

The Easter Thing...

Easter is coming, and I must say it is turning out to be my favorite holiday. This is the one holiday that has a tradition Thomas really enjoys participating in. Of course he likes the present aspect of Christmas, but he won't help decorate the tree or bake cookies. Halloween I can put him in a costume and roll him around town, but he doesn't really care for the candy that much and doesn't understand what is going on. With Easter I have discovered for the second year in a row that Thomas loves to color eggs. Finally a traditional holiday activity that he actively participates in and thoroughly enjoys!

Last Easter I vividly remember Thomas putting the eggs into the coloring cups, using his hands to add them to the cups and take them out. I remember the single egg, left uncolored, because Thomas wouldn't let anyone dip it into the coloring. I remember the green hands that lasted for days and days. But mostly I remember the giggles, the laughter, the look of pure joy on his face as he dropped those eggs into the cups and gleefully pulled them back out.

This year I anticipated major disapointment on my part. Dare I hope that Thomas would want to participate in the egg coloring two years in a row? It was a slow start. Thomas was unhappy that I cleared away his mealtime items, his sippy cup and books. He wasn't sure what to do with the newspaper I placed in front of him. When I placed an egg in his hand he tried to give it back. I began to feel that bitter edge of disapointment I had hoped wouldn't come. And then, suddenly he decided to participate. He stuck those little hands in the cups, placing one egg after another into the same cup, stacking them until he couldn't stack them any higher. It was so cute, and such a wonderful surprise!

Sometimes Thomas just seems to know when mommy needs a reminder of what a miracle he is. I admit I need a gentle nudge now and again to look at the bright side of life and stop feeling sorry for myself, and to think about what all this boy of mine CAN do, instead of feeling sad about what he can't.

I helped take down the cupboards...

With the return of our income taxes my hubby and I decided to replace our old worn down cabinets. We ordered them and ended up getting one back that was not quite right. We decided to get the project underway with the cabinets we did have.

I emptied the two cabinets we would need to take down. Hubby removed one cabinet and then went out to the garage to get a 2X4. While he was gone I thought "why don't I take down the other cabinet for him and it'll be a nice surprise?" So I get two screws out and then the head breaks off the third one. No problem, that happened to hubby too and he just yanked on it a bit to get it off.

I start to yank. The cupboard next to the one I was working on began moving too. As I continued, a little more cautiously, I decided to just wiggle it back and forth instead of yanking on it. Well, I forgot that two years ago when we were putting up a new ceiling hubby just tacked the cabinets up onto a single 2X4, because when he did that it was a "temporary-fix". So, unbeknownst to me, as I am jiggling and wiggling and pulling on this single cabinet, all the rest are getting it too.

Did I mention I hadn't cleared out the cabinets that were supposed to stay up?

Anyway, next thing I know ALL the cabinets are crashing down. I'm on a step stool trying to hold up the end I have been working on, the middle is caught on a little shelf on the wall, the others are just pouring out their contents. All I hear is shattering glass. Hubby is still out in the garage. So I stand there, because if I move the cabinets will definately fall completely down, and the door that is being held shut by my body will also lose it's contents. I stand there waiting for hubby to come back, and yet I'm hoping he never does. LOL

He comes back and I start yelling for him to come into the kitchen. tick tock tick tock tick tock... "Ummmm honey, could you hurry?"

"I am"

"Yeah, I need you to hurry a little faster!"

The look on his face when he walked into the kitchen was priceless. But to his credit he didn't yell or give me a hard time. I think he was in too much shock. He came over and helped me get the cabinets down (losing more glasses and other stuff in the process). Then he sat down and just stared at the floor. Meanwhile I am stuck on this stool in my stocking feet unable to move for the shards of shattered glass all around me. So after a gentle prompting, he got me some slippers. He even helped with clean up.

The floor, which was also replaced just over three years ago with a wood laminate, is scarred and gauged beyond repair. I'm thinking a nice area rug for the kitchen has now become a necessity.

So yeah, lesson learned here: ME + power tools + construction projects = DISASTER!

**note: Thomas was in his chair at the Kitchen table out of harms way when this happened!**

Amazing Thomas

I talked to Thomas' teacher today and she told me something that happened during his OT session this morning:

During OT (occupational therapy) his therapist had him in the swing. When it was time for him to stop swinging, she tried to take him off the swing. Well, he wasn't ready to get off the swing, and pushed her hands away and SAID "NO!"

Of course, he hasn't repeated it since then, and I'm sure he probably won't until he's good and ready, but WAHOO!!! Progress is Progress! So now his vocabulary (when he chooses to use it) consists of "Mama" & "No".

I have such an amazing little boy!

Happy Birthday to my Baby Boy!

Five years old. I can't believe it. It has been five years since I was blessed with my amazing and sweet little boy. He is not so little anymore, growing faster than I care to admit. This last year has been such a big year for him. He's come so far in social, physical, and even mental development.

Can this little boy, now five years old and becoming so independant, be the tiny baby who came rushing into this world 8 weeks too early? He was eager to come out and greet the world, and has been doing things at his own pace ever since. Some things take him longer, and some things seem to come much too fast.

Saturday we had a nice party with many of our friends and family helping to celebrate. He received so many nice gifts and still, two days later, has yet to explore them all. Last year he was still a bit anxious in a crowd and cried when we sang "happy birthday." This year he was a little social butterfly and was all smiles during the singing. He even ate some of his cake!

This has been one of the best years I have had the pleasure of sharing with Thomas. I can only hope the coming year has as many accomplishments and joys as the past one did.